Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Sacraments

The Sacraments of Education exist for three reasons:
  1. To bring teachers to an understanding of THE TRUTH.
  2. To ensure that teachers do not stray from THE WAY.
  3. To allow teachers to grow in THE METHOD.

By learning The Sacraments of Education, we might come to fully appreciate the extent to which our lives as teachers are blessed. By celebrating these sacraments, these methods of grace, we will loose our selfishness and come to understand that we are indebted to those who allow us to teach.


To begin the process, teachers are baptized in what is traditionally called Student Teaching. This Sacrament of THE TRUTH immerses the young teacher into the classroom experience. The student teacher shares in the grace experienced by the master teacher, and the students quickly cleanse the young teacher of his idealism.


For a teacher to be confirmed, he must be living in a state of grace with his administrators. Confirmation is known as Contract Renewed. Confirmation is viewed as a gift, and only should be given to those who have clearly developed their teaching identity. No longer is the teacher viewed as an infant, and now is accepted into the family of educators.


The Eucharist, known as Tenure, is the Most Blessed Sacrament. Tenure falls under the Sacrament of THE TRUTH. The celebrant receives the greatest gift of all--freedom. Tenure grants to the teacher eternal safety. The resulting joy which Tenure provides, provides the teacher with success in performing his duties of sacrifice. Tenure strengthens the soul of a teacher.

Anointing the Sick

In this sacraments of THE METHOD, teachers meet in teams called Data Teams, and seek to perform miracles on the sick test scores. Teachers who wish to effectively heal student test scores must be a person of great faith. The method of healing must be specially blessed with SRBI.


The first Sacrament of THE WAY, Reconciliation serves the purpose of bringing back into rightness a Baptized teacher. Should test scores continue to lag, it has become evident that the teacher lacked faith and finds himself in need of spiritual healing. The administration participates in the Reconciliation through a method known as Professional Assistance. Teachers must come humbly and contritely confess to their inadequacies. The process of Professional Assistance is a form of pennance.


The second of the Sacraments of THE WAY, Matrimony is often called Professional Growth. The teacher makes a commitment to the school by developing a purpose and a mission. A bond is formed between the teacher and the school community, thus strengthening both. The sacrament of Professional Growth confers grace upon the teacher as he seeks a more perfect career.

Holy Orders

Not for all, this Sacrament of THE TRUTH, carries a great weight of sacrifice. It is known as the Administrator's Certificate. Given by the high priests of education, State Departments of Education, Adminstrator becomes the model of a perfect educator whom teachers should follow. By reaching this holy place, the Administrator now can confer the other Sacraments on his followers.


At 1:04 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Braemar says:

But not all are the deep believers. They wade through, even unto hip boots, but can not truly believe.

They leave The Order without attaining the full Truth.

And so they are lowly and meek, but hard workers; and they are resigned to lower pay and ensuing lower retirement benefit and no public adulation after lo those nearly 40 years of toil.


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