Friday, December 28, 2007

Charter School Proposal

Dear Investors,
Thank you for taking the time to read through this Charter School Proposal. With so many education reformists imploring educators to make learning relevant and interesting to our students, it became obvious that we are finally ready to teach students things that matter.

Our Philosophy
Most of what happens in public education is worthless book learning that has little relevance in the real world. In order for us to keep society moving into the direction of self-satisfaction that the Hollywood elite display, we must change how schools operate. No longer should we focus on pointless knowledge like Algebra, Biology, Writing and Reading, or History.
Our students today have no interest in these rather dull subjects. Instead, they are media and technology savvy, and thus our focus must shift.

Our Courses
Gaming--The gaming courses will focus around teaching students how to game with vicious abandon while carefully analyzing the quality of graphics. Because students can think critically about how to properly escape the police in games like Grand Theft Auto, they learn that we have a civic responsibility to protest when we disagree with authority. It is their right, and thus should be excercised.
Additionally, student can participate in the highly active Nintendo Wii gaming systyem, allowing them to learn the skills of Bowling, Tennis, Baseball, and Golf. This exercise regimen should adequately entertain our students while training their bodies for a healthy lifestyle.

Hollywood--The Hollywood courses will focus on the importance of wealth and its real life applications. Students will learn that with wealth comes little responsibility to act like a commoner. Other important values will be learned. Students will see from music videos that women are necessary for decorating all poles while the males of society gather around and "make it rain." One could easily teach a corrallary lesson on the importance of rain to our environment.
But even better, students will learn to discard those important critical thinking skills in order to follow the masses. Marching to the beat of advertising and movie themes is a necessary skill for the 21st Century.

Living--The Living courses will center around how to live life in a selfish but fun way. Forget teaching students that hard work and responsibility are important. We believe that students ought to learn how participate in Drinking games, Club Hopping, Posting Fake Facebook Pages, and participating in Wanton Sexual Freedom.
Everyone knows that Drinking is necessary for entertainment; Club Hopping is the best way to meet a spouse; Fake Facebook Pages can harm those you don't like while making you laugh at the Parody you've created; and Sexual Freedom brings about internal happiness.

Assessment is the foundation for learning. Our students will be assessed regularly by means of observation. Our teachers will not assess. We all know that teachers are subjective in their grading, so we will have a developed staff of Paparrazzi to track and follow our students' progress. Then, we will post the pictures on-line and have our Columnists write feedback. The general public will assess the students through formal opinion polls.

Again, thank you for taking the time to consider our proposal. We hope to talk to you soon about starting the Real World Charter School.


At 8:50 AM , Blogger Joe said...


Teacher salaries will be paid through advertisements tatooed on their bodies or written in rhinestones on metal piercings--bonuses will be awarded for displaying these in exotic places on the body. Merit pay will be awarded to those teachers whose students consume the most.


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