Monday, October 06, 2008

New Class Offerings

Here at WGASH, I am proposing four new electives to be offered.

Wandering 101:
Students will be trained in simple navigation techniques to bolster their love of hallway sight-seeing. Techniques will include, but are not limited to, pack wandering, planner out wandering, and bathroom wandering. No compass is necessary for this class because we encourage the randomness that wandering offers.

Avoidance 201:
Students will be trained in research based techniques to assist in avoiding potential threats to wandering like security, phantom administrators, and the occasional teacher who pops out of their classroom. Each session will include feet-on training in both speed and agility. A strong emphasis will be placed on prepartion and planning, as those are the difference between the untrained wandering and the advanced Avoidance skills (Prerequisite: Wandering 101).

Pleading 301:
Students will learn that, while avoidance is purposeful, we will eventually be confronted by someone. At this point, students must have the skills necessary to plead their case with the confronting party. Phrases like, "I'm going to the nurse," or "My class is right around the corner," will have a great impact on a student's ability to plead for leniency. Students will also learn to feign culpability in an effort to escape the punishment for class skipping. (Prerequisite: Avoiding 201)

Defiance 401:
When all else fails, students must have the skills necessary to cope with the few times they might actually be called out on their skipping. Outright defiance skills include cussing in two or more langugaes, put-downs, and sprinting. This is a lab course and will take the place of any lab science course the student may have skipped already. (Prerequisite: Pleading 301)


At 9:00 PM , Blogger Dan Edwards said...

FUNNY ! How about something for the more sports minded: hackny sack, paper football, desk drumming.....

At 5:16 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG our kids are just like that. Today it was, "I'm on my way to my advisory." And I said, "This isn't advisory period." And he responded, "Oh...what period is this?"..."9th," I say (Advisory is 4th). "Oh...then I guess I'm at lunch?"

...Riiiight. And lunch was definitely in the direction you're wandering...


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