Which Lens do I wear?
How does a teacher change his perspective? Meaning, when I moved to Connecticut, I left a tremendous school. I wasn't fond of the district all of the time, but I loved teaching at the school. It never occurred to me that I might not fit into my new school.
Here I am, a few days before the end of the marking period, and I don't feel comfortable yet. Moving beyond colleague and into friendship has proved difficult. The four years of experience seem to have no real connection.
I feel bad. I feel like I am not giving my all, as if I am holding back because I haven't felt accepted. My drives home are negative. I hate it. I hate that I don't come home with a positive attitude. I hate that I don't arrive in the morning feeling like nothing else could make me that happy--I miss that feeling.
And worst of all, I feel like I am letting these students down. Don't they deserve my best? And yet, I am selfish enough to ask the reciprocal question, don't I deserve their best?