Perplexed
I couldn't sleep again last night. Too much going on. But in the early hours of this morning, my thoughts turned to reflect on this last year. Though my house hasn't sold, and I still don't have a job in Connecticut, I am still moving. It is, without certainty, the greatest leap of faith or stupidity I have ever taken.
But as I thought about this past year, I still feel that I need closure. In recognizing that need, I reflected on the relationships we build with our students. For 182 days a year, we spend an hour or more (at the secondary level) teaching, influencing, and in essence, getting to know our students. In the course of a school year, I spend more time with a student than I do with many of my greatest friends.
This year, more than any other year, I find myself needing to know that everything will turn out okay for my seniors. For the first time, I can't help but be concerned for a few who left things undone. There is the one student who needed the credit to graduate, but never completed the necessary work. Will that student take summer school? I don't know. There is also the one student who struggled the entire year and couldn't walk at graduation. Did that student receive a diploma in the mail? I don't know. And then there is the student who I just couldn't stop believing in when so many others couldn't believe anymore. Will that student ever figure it all out? Unfortunately, I don't know.
So here it is, two weeks after the last day of school--three weeks after the seniors left--and I am still vexed by this class.
posted by Mr. McNamar @ 10:40 AM
3 Comments
3 Comments:
I am in Elementary Education, but part of our program requires that we spend one semester working with a teacher in Middle School or High School before we move onto Elementary methods courses (in part to make certain that we are choosing the right area to specialize before we jump into it).
Anyway, I spent the semester working with an old English teacher of mine at a local high school. In that semester I became very attached to a student, she was very much like I used to be in school, only without the family support I was lucky to have. I think of her often and wonder if she ever figured out that she can do great things with her life regardless of what others seem to think of her. (or of what she seems to think of herself at times)...
I guess what I am trying to say is I understand what you are saying. :)
This just shows how much you care for your students! Unfortunately our profession is very permanent at times, and temporary at others. You have the same kids every day for a whole year, then may never see them again... I would imagine with seniors it's even more difficult!
Sometimes, I just have to let the not-okayness of our students' lives be, um, okay.
I toss and turn for my students who barely squeaked by, who made a mess of their finals, who won't probably make it very far.
I teach 8th grade, so can I send them to you? You sound like a fabulous teacher.
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